Children and Divorce

Children can tell when their parents are upset. Parents need to let their children know that they are not responsible for the divorce. During divorce and other times of change or turmoil, you can help your children by keeping as many routine schedules as possible.

Parents should be open and honest. Explain the divorce process to your children in simple language that is appropriate to each child’s age.

This will help your children feel some control over a situation in which they do not have input. Children often have concrete concerns, such as where they will live and go to school. Be honest. If you don’t have an answer, tell your children that you will let them know as soon as you do.

Even if parents have never blamed the children, the children often assume the divorce is at least partly their fault. Parents must take full responsibility and be honest in a way that is convincing to children. That will vary according to the circumstances. Choose your words carefully and talk with them often.

If possible, parents' battles should not take place in front of the children. That can be frightening for them.