By Roger Schuleter, Belleville News-Democrat, October 16, 2007

"Mommy, are you going to die?"

Susan Naylor figured that would be the first question from her then 5-year-old son, Reiss.

At the time two years ago, the young Troy boy saw how sick the late-stage esophageal cancer was making his Uncle Paul Vordtriede. So when Naylor, then just 33, told him that Mommy had just been diagnosed with breast cancer, she knew the question was inevitable.

"He was the first person I told after I got the news from my doctor," Naylor recalled last week. "I told him that I had cancer, and it was the same thing that Uncle Paul had. And, he just asked me if I were going to die, and I said, ''No.'' And, that was it. I don''t think he really knew what all was going to go on when I told him that, but he was OK with it."

But just to make sure, Naylor soon enrolled her son in HUGS, a support group for young children of breast cancer patients offered by the Siteman Cancer Center here. Short for Help Us Give Support, the series of classes helped Reiss better understand what Mom was going through, Naylor said.

"It ended up that by the way that they taught them about the disease, and the way they taught them to express their feelings, it really helped when we were at home," Naylor said. "It made him feel more comfortable with me."

Now, the six-year-old HUGS program is expanding. On Saturday, Siteman will allow families dealing with any type of cancer to attend the first HUGS fall workshop at the cancer center. The free program is open to all children ages 5-12; for information or reservations, call (314) 362-7844.

"This program has been an important resource for the women of St. Louis who are dealing with breast cancer," said Teresa Deshields, director of psych-oncology services at Siteman Cancer Center and clinical coordinator of HUGS.

"I''m excited we can also offer the program to others battling different types of cancer. I feel we''ve helped make some patients'' journey to survivorship a little smoother."

After her experience two years ago, Naylor certainly would agree. Years before she was even due to have her first mammogram, Naylor found a small lump in her right breast through physical exam. When it was removed at Anderson Hospital in Maryville and tested, it proved malignant, and doctors recommended more extensive treatment at Barnes-Jewish Hospital in St. Louis.

The follow-up surgery to remove more breast tissue and several lymph nodes produced the news Naylor had been hoping for: The cancer had not spread, and, after a course of chemotherapy followed by two months of radiation, she likely would have a full recovery.

"I was fortunate that I had the level I had and the type I had," she said, thinking of her brother-in-law who died last February after his 18-month battle. "It was very treatable, and I always went at it with that attitude. And I think that helped a lot."

It apparently went a long way toward helping Reiss, who was obviously apprehensive over his mother''s diagnosis.

"I thought that it was kind of weird," he said of his reaction when his mother told him she had cancer. "I felt funny."

So Naylor did whatever she could to make the disease less scary. When she started to lose her hair from the chemo in early 2006, she had Reiss shave her head at a friend''s beauty saloon.

"I think it really helped because it wasn''t as frightening to him to see Mom without hair because he had actually done it," said Naylor, who continued to work and even teach an exercise program during her follow-up treatment. "It was kind of our own little therapy."

But Naylor was concerned her therapy might not go far enough. She remembered all too well what happened when she was a child herself.

"My brother was 5 when my dad was diagnosed with testicular cancer," Naylor said. "He thought that Dad had heart problems the whole time. He really didn''t understand why, if Dad had heart problems, he was losing his hair and had to be in the hospital a lot. I wanted to make sure Reiss knew what I was going through and that I was going to be OK."

So when Naylor learned that Siteman would be starting another HUGS class shortly after she began chemo, she was quick to sign him up. Although parents did not sit in with the group of eight or nine children, she and her husband, Michael, quickly saw its value.

"There was one boy whose mom asked him to wash his hands every day when he got home from school," Naylor said. "Her immune system was down from the chemotherapy, and she was worried about catching any germs that he might bring home with him. But to his mind it was, ''Oh, my gosh, I have to wash my hands so I don''t catch my mom''s cancer!''

"So just with the other kids saying things like that and the adult facilitators who were great making the myths go away and giving them the facts and the information at their level so they could understand it, I think it really helped them."

Reiss said he learned a lot and had fun at the same time.

"I learned about cancer and that if someoone has it, you can''t get it from them," he said. "And, I got a backsack from there, and I made a lot of pictures. Now, I feel good about it, and I feel happy that she got rid of (the cancer)." The children were encouraged to discuss their feelings. They did complementary craft projects, such as drawing what they thought cancer looked liked. For supper, they received alternating meals of pizza and burgers.

"The kids really bonded quickly, and he couldn''t wait to go because he couldn''t wait to see his friends," said Naylor of her son''s reaction to the program. "In fact, when they held a reunion recently, there were a couple of kids who couldn''t make it, and he was looking for them all night."

Now, Naylor, who works in the education and development office at Macy''s in St. Louis, has become an American Cancer Society Reach to Recovery volunteer. She strongly encourages other newly diagnosed patients to give their children HUGS, too.

"There''s a woman in my neighborhood with two young girls I''ve been talking with," said Naylor, who now is pregnant with twins. "I''ve often wondered why we can''t get something like this started over here. I think it''s a great idea."

What: Help Us Give Support (HUGS), a group for children (ages 5-12) of parents with cancer
Where: Siteman Cancer Center, St. Louis
When: 9 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. Saturday
Cost: Free. Funded by Susan G. Komen for the Cure and St. Louis Cardinals Care.
Reservations: (314) 362-7844